Tomorrowland is the latest movie from Braddy Birddy, the director of The Incredibles, The Iron Giant and, everyone’s favorite animated sitcom of the 90’s, Family Dog. With Tomorrowland, Bird has constructed the ultimate movie about fearing the apocalypse. For kids!
The story takes place in the present. Or it the past or…we start in the 1950’s and then we go to the 2000’s or something. Whatever. So then we get to see the future where the apocalypse already happened. And then we go to the holodeck for some reason. Only a child can save the future because…I don’t know. Kids!
My favorite part is when Doctor House tells us all about the factors of the apocalypse because we’re all stupid and watch movies like Mad Max: Fury Road. This is the best part of the movie except that it leaves out all the other factors such as chem trails, FEMA camps, the Illuminati, the Reptilian Illuminati and Donald Trump. I’m guessing Disney forced Brad Bird to cut down on this and made him at in all this sci-fi junk. There’s lots of crap in this movie like spaceships, laser guns, robots, space shuttles, black hole machines, etc. Look, we don’t care about any of this stuff, Disney. I don’t go to summer movies to see all this crap. I go to movies in the summer to hear about Tower 7 and conspiracy theories. If I wanted all this sci-fi junk in my beat-you-over-the-head message movie, I’d go watch a cartoon. Does Disney still make cartoons?
But the movie is pretty good because it encourages kids to do something meaningful with their lives. I’m not sure what that meant for the characters considering they didn’t really do much of anything, but…there’s something here, I think. I suppose the point of the movie is to be hopeful for the future. Or that the future is doomed. Or that holograms are cool.
I would have recommended the movie more if it didn’t get so corporate by the end when it turned into a commercial for Tomorrowland University. Please stop trying to make me drop thousands of dollars down for a pointless degree in the STEM field. I don’t even know what STEM stands for. And I’m not going to pay your crooked university to find out either. Just go back to having Hugh Laurie and George Clooney talk about how bad the world is. That way I can feel smart by embracing their opinions as opposed to forming my own through college education.
Disney always markets their movies with lots of merchandise and theme park tie-ins and I can’t wait for what they have in store for Tomorrowland. My hope is that their next attraction will feature a holographic Hugh Laurie lecturing us about how Fukushima irradiated our fish supplies.